I have lots of struggles in my life. I know it's very common for every human being. And those struggles are actually molding and help me grow more mature in life!
One of it is... I don't want to share it boldly as it's my secret. But I just want to jot it down here to remind me in the future what I've done to overcome this struggle. So, in short, I have a struggle which caused me to be so down and away from God for quite a long period of time. It started since last year 2007 and up till yesterday morning. Wow, what a struggle I'm having!!!
There was a period of time where I stop from ministry, don't feel like serving God and requested so from leaders in the church. Besides, I was so moody and hide myself alone in my room and watching favorite movies and playing games most of the times. My life went on like that for months and eventually, I told myself that aren't there many more meaningful stuff I can work on despite of self-pity and struggles like that. That's lead to my decision to leave my "comfort zone" in Kota Samarahan and even quit my master study.
Some of you might surprise as I told you guys that I wanted to gain more working experience here in Kuala Lumpur and see more new stuff before I resume my master study! Well, I don't lie to any of you, but I just tell the reason that I think you guys can accept and I'm not ready to share such struggles and secret to so many of you. So, I wasn't lying. If you want to know my struggles, ask me in person and I'll tell you when I'm ready.
Things didn't change better when I back here and started my working life. At some point, it became more worst and I wanted to just leave God and go on with my evil desires. But I thank God for the support of the His love, Holy Spirit and His people. So, I still join Sunday service once a week.
There are few times when God spoke and pastor call for altar call and the message is very much related to me. Yet, I was so stubborn and not respond to it. But it changed yesterday, when I have my prayer time in the morning! I can't remember the whole scene, but one thought kept playing in my mind and because of that, I surrender my struggle to God. The thought was "stop doing things that I know God will never ever please with it and which God forbid us to do it." And so, why I still asking God's permission to do it and cause me to struggle for so long?
Hence, I made a new commitment and prayed to Jesus and told Him that I want to stop this sin in my life and need His Grace and Mercy to help me to overcome such struggle! I felt released when I end my prayer in His beautiful name. Amen.
Well, I still have that struggle, but I believe it's a good start that I surrender it to Jesus and rely on Jesus to help me to overcome it. Do keep me in prayers that I can totally overcome it. Amen.
One of it is... I don't want to share it boldly as it's my secret. But I just want to jot it down here to remind me in the future what I've done to overcome this struggle. So, in short, I have a struggle which caused me to be so down and away from God for quite a long period of time. It started since last year 2007 and up till yesterday morning. Wow, what a struggle I'm having!!!
There was a period of time where I stop from ministry, don't feel like serving God and requested so from leaders in the church. Besides, I was so moody and hide myself alone in my room and watching favorite movies and playing games most of the times. My life went on like that for months and eventually, I told myself that aren't there many more meaningful stuff I can work on despite of self-pity and struggles like that. That's lead to my decision to leave my "comfort zone" in Kota Samarahan and even quit my master study.
Some of you might surprise as I told you guys that I wanted to gain more working experience here in Kuala Lumpur and see more new stuff before I resume my master study! Well, I don't lie to any of you, but I just tell the reason that I think you guys can accept and I'm not ready to share such struggles and secret to so many of you. So, I wasn't lying. If you want to know my struggles, ask me in person and I'll tell you when I'm ready.
Things didn't change better when I back here and started my working life. At some point, it became more worst and I wanted to just leave God and go on with my evil desires. But I thank God for the support of the His love, Holy Spirit and His people. So, I still join Sunday service once a week.
There are few times when God spoke and pastor call for altar call and the message is very much related to me. Yet, I was so stubborn and not respond to it. But it changed yesterday, when I have my prayer time in the morning! I can't remember the whole scene, but one thought kept playing in my mind and because of that, I surrender my struggle to God. The thought was "stop doing things that I know God will never ever please with it and which God forbid us to do it." And so, why I still asking God's permission to do it and cause me to struggle for so long?
Hence, I made a new commitment and prayed to Jesus and told Him that I want to stop this sin in my life and need His Grace and Mercy to help me to overcome such struggle! I felt released when I end my prayer in His beautiful name. Amen.
Well, I still have that struggle, but I believe it's a good start that I surrender it to Jesus and rely on Jesus to help me to overcome it. Do keep me in prayers that I can totally overcome it. Amen.
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